Friday, January 10, 2014

The Truth: I Have Ulcerative Colitis Part 2

I have received an official diagnosis and I have no clue why it was sooo important for me to hear the Doctor say it, but it really was. I think a lot of it had to do with needing someone to confirm what I already knew was the truth. Someone that had some type of "authority". The other reason (that I'm realizing now) is because when my body is healed through diet, I can say that I HAD ulcerative colitis a "non-curable" auto-immune disease.

On the way to the doctors office, Nate and I discussed what our expectation from the appointment would be. Its been 1 year since I have seen this specialist and I was wondering if I'd have to get more testing done. 

All that I wanted was a confirmation of diagnosis and to start an open relationship with a specialist. Thats it.

The last time I saw her; I had a colonoscopy done, blood work and was prescribed medications. Mind you, at this time Ella was only 5 months old and I wasn't wanting to take any medications that would interfere with my breastfeeding relationship but at the time I was open to try. Last year, I tried a few of the medications that she prescribed and within days, my milk supply was drastically lower and I quit taking them…I Have't seen her since.

When we arrived at this appointment I was super nervous. I hate talking about my symptoms, my difficulties, my reality. I like to pretend that my reality is what I share with others; look at my Instagram feed, it's full of healthy food and smiles but that isn't my reality.

She walks into the exam room and says to me with ease, "so you're here to talk about your colitis?" I looked at her stunned and said "I have colitis?" She looked at me like I had three eyes and said "most definitely.." She continues on about how all of my symptoms were in fact UC related, and that I should have followed up with her so that she could have prescribed me other medications last year. 

By the end of the appointment she has prescribed me with three medications to try and clear things up, informs me that if I want to gain remission I must take the medications and suggests that I wean Ellabird as a precautionary measure. If these medications don't help me the IV infusion therapy is definitely not safe for breastfeeding,
nor is it safe for a fetus-so I must stop trying for baby #2.

I left feeling hopeless.  

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