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Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Ripping off the band-aide..

I was about to type out how it "pains me to write this" or "how I am a failure" and maybe add in a "wish I could do it over" but I'm not...I'm not going to type any of that regarding the previous existence of Everyday Baby. I am not in pain. I'm not a failure. I wouldn't do any of it over...

Instead I'll tell you the truth. 



When I gave birth to Ella it changed my life, the traditional work force wasn't for me, and I needed a way out. Everyday Baby was my ticket. I dreamed of a place that I could take my baby to work, empower other mothers, and provide support. I emptied my savings account and got started building a business from the ground up. I was good at it. My previous business experience served me well and I was going steady. Heres what I didn't have experience in, motherhood. I had zero clue how much raising a child was going to take, nor was I prepared for the uphill battle that owning a brick & mortar business was going to be. Fast forward a rigorous year and a half later and I find out that I'm pregnant with my second baby while battling my (newly diagnosed) Ulcerative Colitis, wasn't a very good first trimester. The store suffered, I suffered, and I wasn't happy. My happy place became a prison. A prison that I had created. A place that was supposed to be my ticket to freedom became a major stressor.



I needed a plan...and fast. I had nothing.
I could've hired and I could have modified operation but I felt like I would be doing a disservice to the business because my heart just wasn't in it anymore. After months of prayer I decided to close the brick and mortar and head to the Farmers Market, which I don't know if you've tried to apply to get into a Farmers Market but it's REALLY difficult, at least the market I wanted to get into..I actually had my 3rd meeting with them the DAY Andersen was born, needless to say I had to cancel.

The day that I had Andersen something else birthed from me, I became immune to the feeling of failure regarding EB. I realized the moment that he was born that Everyday Baby was done. That my "Everyday Baby" is my children. That I wanted to devote this time to them and that I wasn't a failure.

Failure is, the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, I have succeeded in everything that I set out to accomplish with Everyday Baby-it WAS my ticket out of traditional business and for that I am grateful.

There you have it.
The truth. Painful. Beautiful and all mine.

I will be closing the online portion at the end of this month.

I hope that you still choose to follow me! Just Christian the wife, the mother, blogger, and friend. I will be blogging more and talking about my new life as a SAHM and more about my oil stuff (which is now paying my bills, thankfully or I would've had to go back to work)..

Thank you to all of the people that helped make Everyday Baby what it was! I have met so many wonderful friends and can't thank you enough for your patronage. I will always hold the 'Everyday Baby days' fondly in my heart. You helped make me the Mother that I am today.



A chapter closed, the band-aide has been ripped off Nate. You were right...I do feel better. Love you!