The Truth: I Have Ulcerative Colitis Part 2

So.
I have received an official diagnosis and I have no clue why it was sooo important for me to hear the Doctor say it, but it really was. I think a lot of it had to do with needing someone to confirm what I already knew was the truth. Someone that had some type of "authority". The other reason (that I'm realizing now) is because when my body is healed through diet, I can say that I HAD ulcerative colitis a "non-curable" auto-immune disease.

On the way to the doctors office, Nate and I discussed what our expectation from the appointment would be. Its been 1 year since I have seen this specialist and I was wondering if I'd have to get more testing done. 

All that I wanted was a confirmation of diagnosis and to start an open relationship with a specialist. Thats it.

The last time I saw her; I had a colonoscopy done, blood work and was prescribed medications. Mind you, at this time Ella was only 5 months old and I wasn't wanting to take any medications that would interfere with my breastfeeding relationship but at the time I was open to try. Last year, I tried a few of the medications that she prescribed and within days, my milk supply was drastically lower and I quit taking them…I Have't seen her since.

When we arrived at this appointment I was super nervous. I hate talking about my symptoms, my difficulties, my reality. I like to pretend that my reality is what I share with others; look at my Instagram feed, it's full of healthy food and smiles but that isn't my reality.

She walks into the exam room and says to me with ease, "so you're here to talk about your colitis?" I looked at her stunned and said "I have colitis?" She looked at me like I had three eyes and said "most definitely.." She continues on about how all of my symptoms were in fact UC related, and that I should have followed up with her so that she could have prescribed me other medications last year. 

By the end of the appointment she has prescribed me with three medications to try and clear things up, informs me that if I want to gain remission I must take the medications and suggests that I wean Ellabird as a precautionary measure. If these medications don't help me the IV infusion therapy is definitely not safe for breastfeeding,

nor is it safe for a fetus-so I must stop trying for baby #2.

I left feeling hopeless.  

The Truth: I have Ulcerative Colitis

I don't think I'm going to post this.

I live in agony. 

Thats sort of weird to admit but it's the truth. It's the truth that I have been hiding for a long time. I'd say I have been hiding and sweeping it under the rug for about 3 years. I don't like to tell anyone or talk about it. It's a mixture of being in denial, embarrassed and sad. It's caused me so much pain and embarrassment that I have lost relationships over it, I've had to quit activities that I enjoy and sometimes I can't/don't want to leave my house. Its weird how much it has effected me and I haven't even been able to admit it. 

I don't think I'm going to post this.

I have ulcerative colitis.

Ughhh. Thats the first time I have ever typed that out. Not the "ulcerative colitis" part, I have typed out those words far too many times in the Google search engine. It's the "I have" part that I have never typed out. I also haven't been officially diagnosed with it (that happens tomorrow) but I know that I have it. 

If you don't know what ulcerative colitis is, I can try to explain it. It basically means that the lining of my lower GI has been damaged because of an auto-immune response. There is no "cure" for it but there are "management" measures that can be taken. The symptoms of UC can be pretty nasty and I'd rather not get into it. You can Google it if you'd like to…I pretty much have all of it. Sucks. It's embarrassing. 

I'm not in the midst of a flare-up right now (thank God) but I was a few weeks ago. I don't know how long I'll be ok, how long a flare-up will last or what causes either of these two events. All that I know is that it's a roller coaster. It's probably really hard for you to understand how difficult this situation is and I'd love the opportunity to put into perspective but I can't. If you're looking for perspective on this monster there are a few great bloggers that have written about this subject that have really…"captured the essence?"

The treatment plan (possibly) looks like this; IV steroids, medications that aren't safe for pregnancy and frequent medications to relieve the symptoms associated with this incurable disease. NO THANK YOU!

I'm a healthy person (at least I try). 

I eat consciously, organic and clean. 

I am so mad.

I don't know what to do.

I know how to eat. 

I preach health/wellness yet I'm not well...

I am posting this because I need your help! 

Tomorrow at 9AM I'm going to see my GI Specialist and I need to figure out what to do. Do you know anyone with UC? I spoke to someone briefly that has it and it was a breath of fresh air, she understood exactly what I'm going through but she wasn't local to Sarasota.

**UPDATE: I went to the doctor after this was written and got my "official" diagnoses. I'll be writing about my experience soon.**

I don't do New Year's resolutions.

I have the most difficult time staying inspired when it comes to blogging. It comes in spurts and when it does I should just write all day and get it over with. I think that this will be the very first post that I don't proof read and change. Even after I said that, I just re-read what I wrote and changed something (doh!).  

Lets have real talk. I used to blog, blog often and love it. I still enjoy writing and creating connection but having the store  has really limited my time! I just finished getting my certified lactation counselor certification, I'm finishing my Wee Hands certification (to teach baby ASL) and I'm still working on my Kindermusik classes…all while; cooking dinners, cleaning cloth diapers, nursing my sweet girl, ordering products, running the store, being a wife, etc etc etc.

This blog has taken a back seat..but NOT for long! I'm feeling good. A lot of "need to do" items have been checked off my list and I have a mile long list of blog topics I'd like to talk about.

I don't do "New Years Resolutions" I don't believe in them. I do believe in seasons though, I think that we go through phases. I am currently coming out of my "nose to the grind/unsocial season" I feel like one of those horses when they're in training and they have those weird things on the sides of their head, it's actually so they stay focused. They are called blinders. Some say that blinders were invented when a preacher had a wager with one of his friends. The preacher bet that his horse could walk up the stairs in his home, which the horse did with no problem at all. But, when he tried to coax the horse down again, it wouldn’t budge! So, the preacher covered the horses head and lead him down. He realized that covering all or part of the horse’s vision could encourage the horse to take chances it would not normally take. So my year of "chances" is over and now I embrace a new year of….well…we'll see. I'll let you know when I know!

So with all of that being said…what season are you in? What kind of year has this been for you?

Shop Small!

Do you know what shopping local means to our community? Local business; employ local people, pay local taxes and improve the local economy. 

In recent years I have seen a huge decline in locally owned, specialty retail shops and this is a trend I would love to see change! As I sit here (planning my next big thing for Everyday Baby), I am reminded of the wonderful, loyal customers that have walked through these doors. We are so very very thankful for you!

However, there is a sad and dangerous downside to owning your own business and I'd like to tell you about it:

(i'm about to get vulnerable so please, please bear with me)

We have taken a chance on opening a business that we felt our community needed. Providing love, support and resources for new, expecting and veteran mamas has been my dream. I am living it at this moment.

but...

It breaks my heart when I know that I have spent hours - many times past business hours - teaching a new Mama how to use a ring sling or teaching them how to cloth, only to have them post on FB the new sling or diaper they purchased on Amazon/Target/Zulily for a few dollars less.

Everyday someone comes in and says "it's so great to see this in person" and it is. When I was beginning to cloth diaper Ella I can't tell you how many diapers I ordered, some were great and others sucked. Had I seen the bad ones in person I would have never purchased them. There was no place for me to go and buy the Sakura Bloom ring sling AND have someone show me how to use it.

While we hear the comment about seeing things "in-person" a lot, not everyone who makes that comment actually shops from us. Some will buy a few, then "shop" online. There is a term for this and it's called "show rooming." Many locally-owned businesses have shut their doors because of this very reason. People come in, touch and feel the product, then go home and order it from of Amazon or somewhere else they get a "better deal.''  Brick & Mortar stores are frequently "show-roomed" for big online giants like Amazon. Show-rooming is expensive to be the victim of (yes, we are victims). We pay wages, rent, utilities, insurance, taxes etc. to be able to show you our products. These costs are covered when WE make the sale. When the sale goes to giants stores like Amazon or Target, WE lose money.

Keeping Everyday Baby open is a daily challenge but I believe in what we are doing and thankfully we have wonderful, loyal customers that have kept Everyday Baby the amazing resource that it is, we employ mothers and carry products that allow mothers to adopt/foster/stay home with their babe. And we rely on those sales to keep our doors open. We may be a tad more expensive because we don't have the bulk buying potential like some of the giants (ever wonder why we are out of certain products?). But what I do offer, is customer service. I am truly passionate about seeing every baby cloth diapered, every mother successfully breastfeeding, teething babies soothed and MOST importantly every Mama supported on her journey. While I want to make sales, I also want to make sure that what you buy is what you NEED for your family. I want you to go home with confidence on how to use that baby carrier, feeling secure in your breastfeeding efforts and knowing how to wash your cloth.

Do you think that Target or Amazon give a hoot about your breastfeeding success? Hell, they'll sell you formula instead (it's more lucrative for them anyway.) Amazon is detrimental to small business'!

So the moral of the story is: buy where you touch. If you want to keep seeing things in person and you want to get involved with all of our awesome classes, support those of us who have taken the risk and invested our time, money and resources into a business and buy from them when you go in to see items you wish to purchase.

Bottom Line: I will continue to do everything in my power to earn your business. Unlike a giant retailer, it's my business to see that EVERY client is satisfied, confident, and supported in their purchase. Your support keeps our doors open for new Mamas everyday.

For those of you who have shopped with us - or plan to shop with us - my family and I would like to thank you. You are TRULY shopping local. 

Thank you!

The Axness Family

Rain, Rain Don't Go Away..

This is what Saturday looked like for us! Daddy was working so Ella Bird and I spent some quality time together. We drank some carrot//apple juice, ate some warm sweet potatoes and danced around the store. 

I'm excited about my lactation course next month BUT it's an hour away AND all day long. So technically I will be gone for a week! So sad...I'm going to miss my little lady. I've never been away from her like this. We'll see how it goes. She'll be with her Daddy!

Xoxo

What you need to know about baltic amber...

I've been wanting to do a follow-up on the post that I wrote over a YEAR ago (time flies). You can check it out here. So much has changed since I was just a Mama writing about amber...now I feel like I have a bit more insight, experience and knowledge. So with that being said, I wanted to write about something that is important and that I see ALL the time.

Fake amber.

I know, right?! Seems so weird that anyone would want to trick people...but...they do.

Fake Baltic can be made from:

Plastic

Glass

Copal

Fenolic Resins

Casein

Celluloid

Since I opened Everyday Baby in March of this year, I have seen it all. It really upsets me when a Mama comes in frazzled, tired, and wondering why amber isn't working for her baby.

I figured out a few ways to spot the difference between real Baltic Amber and fakes:

.Smell/Burn Test this is said to be the most reliable test. If you hold a flame to the amber necklace, it SHOULD give off a pleasant “pine-tree resin” smell if it is genuine. If it is a fake, it will either melt or give off a burnt plastic smell. If it is a glass fake, it will smell like nothing.

.Rub Test is similar to the smell/burn test above, except you don’t use a flame to heat the Baltic stones, you use the heat from your hands. Simply rub the stones in your hand to see if they release that “pine-tree resin” smell. This test may be a little more difficult to perform. 

.Hot Needle Test is another effective test that involves using a hot needle to once again evoke the “pine-tree resin” smell. Simply place a hot needle into an already drilled hole into the amber and see what happens. Obviously if you stick the needle into plastic or glass there will be no smell, and possible melting. Please be advised that this method may leave a slight burn mark where the needle was placed. Also note that the clasps are made of plastic and will burn if you stick the needle into those. 

.Salt Water Test is another easy way to test and see if your Amber is real. Amber will float in salt water, be sure there is not metal that would weigh the necklace down and make it sink. Please note that Copal also floats too, so while your necklace might not be glass, this test is not totally foolproof. Use 1 part salt to 2 parts water and drop the necklace into it. Hopefully it floats! 

How to avoid fakes:

Purchase from a reliable or reputable source.

Test your amber

Look for 100% Guarantee on the necklaces

If it's cheap-it ain't REAL 

Amber does not melt

Amber has a sweet pine-tree type smell when burned. 

**Don't burn over a direct flame, it will leave a black spot. I would advise you try to hold the necklace over a heat source that doesn’t involve a flame such as an electric stove. This way the smell can still resonate without harming your necklace. 

XOXO

Dear Bird,

This morning your Dad and I laid in bed looking at old photos of you. It's amazing how much you've changed over the last year. As I was looking at the photos I couldn't help but imagine what it will be like when you are 5 years older or 10 years older. If you've changed this much over a year I can't imagine what it's going to be like in 10.

I hope that I'm a good Mama. 

You can do all of the studying, verifying and learning that you want but...it never feels quite good enough. I hope that you know that everyday I wake-up and wonder, "how I can benefit my bird". Whether it's feeding you something wholesome, stimulating your brain in some new way, I think about it. When you have a baby, I'm sure you'll understand.

If you choose motherhood in your future I hope you will think of me. When you're having these same thoughts..think of me. We can share this.

If motherhood isn't in your future I hope that whatever you put your hand to, you will wonder how to make it better. Never stop progressing my love. Always move forward and when it's time to rest, rest well.

Remember this- Act like a lady, think like a man and work like a boss.

My deepest love,
Mama