Mama Day

It's the end of the day 11:33PM to be exact and I'm feeling quite reflective. I spent today celebrating motherhood and indulging in the attention from appreciative loved ones. This Mother's Day is special because its my first celebrating as a Mama. Ella is laying next to me in bed deep in a milk comma and I'm laying here thinking about all the changes that have happened recently in my life...

On this day 1 year ago, I was 7 months pregnant and quite oblivious to the life that would be awaiting me. I was scared, no I was terrified of motherhood. For so long I didn't think that motherhood would be possible for me. After my preconception appointment in July of  2010 I was given the devastating news that my uterus "was not suitable for implantation." Long story short...I knew that infertility was a very real reality for me. Then she happened years later.

As I think about what my life could have been like, I am thankful that God had better plans. He always does....plans that in my head I could have never imagined; having a family of my own, creating my own successful business and most importantly experiencing true happiness daily. I feel unworthy of this...but thankful that its happened to me. 

My daughter has taught me so much in her young 10 months of life; how to slow down, how to care about others unselfishly and that most of my stubborn genes are dominant. I love that she loves me so much and again feel so unworthy! 

All in all, I'm stoked on life! 

Now-here is the flip side to this reflection(y) post. What if none of this were possible? What if I would have never been blessed with her? Where would I be? Today...today would be the hardest day for me if my prognosis of infertility had become my reality! Tonight-there is a woman who has experienced loss, struggled with infertility or just hasn't found the right person to spend their life with. Tonight, I think of you. 

Xoxo Christian (Mama Bird)