My Amazing Modern Blessingway...

A blessingway is a mother centered ceremony that replaces a traditional baby shower and replaces it with a gathering of the closest women in your life. Every ceremony that I have been to has been different and thats what I love about it! My blessingway represented me and what I needed for my journey. I will share all of the particular elements that made my blessing way special to me!

A woman centered ceremony in the sizing a woman strength, dignity, and her metamorphosis as she goes through the process of bringing new life into the world...

I held my blessingway at the Breathing Space in Sarasota, Florida. I wanted an evening ceremony that evoked a magical feel and couldn't have been more happy with the space. In the invitation we asked everyone to bring a string of their favorite color, a plant that best represents them, a blessing bead, and a dish to share. 

My dear friend Erin Ernst did a beautiful henna on my belly! We discussed a mermaid (her specialty considering that she's a mermaid herself) and turned out beautiful. 

I couldn't have been more blessed with the women that participated in this ceremony! Every single one of them made the event special...

We started the ceremony by honoring our mothers..."I am Christian the daughter of Gina and the Mother of Ella..." By doing this we acknowledged the mother presence in our lives. It was powerful! Some mothers and grandmothers had passed on so it was amazing to honor not just the living but also thank God for the lives of those that had passed. It was also neat to acknowledge ourselves as beautiful mamas...

The ladies went around the circle and tied the string around the laboring candle to represent their blessing during labor..

We did a cord binding prayer that connected us as a community-we took a large piece of string and wrapped it around our wrist, said a prayer, and cut the string. Each mama was left with bracelet around their wrist. That way when they looked down at it they could remember to pray for mama and baby...

Each woman was instructed to bring a blessing and a bead to adorn the laboring necklace! Everyone went around the circle and presented their bead and their blessing...it was moving! 

            My laboring candle was lit while I was in labor and it was a huge focal point for me.

Everyone left with a candle to light when I went into labor. Talking to some of them after Andersen Wilde was born confirmed that I had a long labor.."I had it burning for so long, I was getting worried..are you supposed to leave open flame if you have to go to the grocery store?"

    We made a beautiful prayer flag to adorn my birth space! I love having these little keepsakes too.

          To end the night we had delicious food around a gorgeous night sky and open flame.

A HUGE THANK YOU to Ashley Berry Photography for capturing my beautiful event! She has decided to extend an amazing offer to Everyday Axness readers by offering a portrait session for $75 if booked before December 20th!

This Wasn't My Dream...

I'm giddy that my children are napping at the same time, my house is clean, and I have completed 7 dinners to be frozen for future use. It's moments like these that I am reminded that "this wasn't my dream..."

When I was a young girl I wasn't aspiring to be a mother like other girls. I wasn't thinking of settling down with a guy. I had big dreams of becoming an independent, talented artist, living in a big city, and partying my whole life. I was going to make my own rules, be a girl boss, have a career, and laugh at the women that did the typical married with kids life. I was never going to have kids....or a husband. Then life really happened. I landed a great job, fell in love, got married bought a house, and guess what---had kids (plural). Everything happened pretty slowly and without thought, it was just a natural occurrence. It's amazing how you go along with what feels good and then look back to see its totally different then what you thought you wanted. 

After I had Ella my intentions of going back to work were thwarted by an overwhelming need to be with her. Guess what? I quit and became a stay-at-home mom, the kind that some young girl with stars in her eyes is praying to God she doesn't become and I'm ok with it. No. I'm not ok. I'm utterly ecstatic. If you would have told me 6-7 years ago, that I would NOT be living my dream of complete independence I would cry..but today I'm happy. I'm happy with all of it. This has become my dream. The thought of not having all of this; markers on the floor (without lids), crayons (broken), pieces of ripped coloring pages, the silence that a nap brings, the smell of just bathed toddler hair, baby breath, the sound of my name off my little girls lips...To not have these things would be a nightmare.

Communication w/ the Axness Family

Hey guys!

I want to say THANK YOU! We have received so many amazing words from amazing people around the world! My inbox stays flooded and if I haven't gotten back to you yet, I promise I'm working on it!

Just wanted to throw this out. If I recieve an email that is sent between the hours of 2-4AM and the first sentence starts out about me sucking...I don't finish reading. So-if I were you I'd save your iPhone thumb for another hate email.

I also don't read lengthy emails unless they're positive. It's just the way I roll...I like to keep goodness in my life.

Xoxo

My labor lifelines. What I REALLY needed...

I over prepared for my labor//birth. I thought that I knew something. I really thought that since I had done it before I would know what to expect, what I would need, and how it was all going to happen.

I was wrong. Very wrong.

Now you get to learn from my mistakes! I will be sharing my entire birth story next week but until then I wanted to share with you the things thatI needed during his birth... my lifelines.

.My husband

I knew that I was going to need him but I had no clue how much I was going to need him this time. Like my last birth I had back labor and a posterior baby. 

(Translation=really long//painful birth)

His energy, support, and presence really got me through it all. Having him near me touching me, reassuring me, and lovingly supporting was soooo necessary. He's an amazing birth partner. He massaged me the whole time, encouraged me, and at the end of it all delivered my son to me. It was amazing.

.My birth ball

Dear inventor of the exercise ball, 

what made you decided to invent such a beautiful thing? Did you sit on a balloon one day, it didn't pop, and then you just had the amazing idea to super-size it? Did you know that it would be used in thousand and thousands of childbirths or did you think it would only be found in gyms? Whatever the case may be..thank you. I mean that.

.My oils

Uhmmm...where to begin. To say that oils helped me during my labor would be an understatement. Not only did they help me but there were oils that I used for specific things that were AMAZING and I think that it's only fair that I outline them.

Clary Sage-I rubbed this on my tummy once labor got started. I have a new love for this oil. Clary Sage relaxes the uterine muscles and helps them prepare for childbirth and made contractions more efficient. This was beneficial in my case because of the babies position.

Lavender//Peace and Calming//ylang ylang- This is one of my favorite scents to diffuse. Its so relaxing and soothing. I actually kept that going throughout the house even after the baby was born. It kept everything calm and serene. Love it.

Panaway-Nate would use this to massage my back along with V-6 and it was uh-mazing! Remember how I mentioned I was in back labor. Yea. This helped. 

Orange//Peppermint-Nate diffused this in the bathroom at hour 20...Yea it was a long labor and I was starting to get tired. This blend gave me a nice energy boost and kept me going. I still love to diffuse this in the morning when we get up! It's so energizing!

Frankincense-Yes. Like the oil that they brought to baby Jesus (if it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me)! Great to use on the perineum to prevent//heal tearing.

.Honey

I was so exhausted and before it was time to push my awesome midwife brought me in a tablespoon of honey and it really gave me the energy that I needed to push out our little guy.

.A focal point

A had my labor candle from my Blessingway (more on that to come) lit and near me. It was a huge focal point for me and I really drew a lot of energy from that. Just knowing that there were other women from my community thinking//praying for me was powerful.

Thats about it folks....I didn't use any of the "Labor-aide" that I had made in the fridge, I didn't want to listen to the thousand "labor playlists" that I had created, I didn't need any of the herbal tinctures that I made, and I didn't need any of the snacks that I shopped for. Doesn't mean that you won't because every labor is different. I just didn't need what I thought that I needed...

Labor is trying.

Labor is hard.

Labor is beautiful.

Labor is a bitch.

Labor sucks.

Labor is amazing.

Labor is all of these things wrapped up into hours and minutes of your life only to be left with this...

Joy.

Gratitude.

Life.

Love.

Bliss.

Happiness.

A Beautiful Outlook on Natural Childbirth (that is NOT my own)

I want to share a mistake with you...
why would I do such a thing you ask?

My life is about being transparent (hence the reason I would broadcast it on national television).

This mistake gives me a platform to speak about a topic that is worth talking about. When you embed thoughts, articles or videos on your blog that aren't your own without citing the source it's wrong.

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In my early days of blogging I posted about why I chose Natural Childbirth. Within that post I un-maliciously shared the beautiful words of another blogger without citing her and I want to make it right.  As a beginning blogger I did not understand blogging etiquette and I made a mistake. I actually didn't think people would ever read my blog and kept it private as a family thing that I would post beautiful quotes..and thoughts privately...well fast forward and it's now VERY public.

I want to make it right and post it the correct way. How it should have been done 3yrs ago...

When you post a story within your own blog and you don't cite the source it's very very wrong...if you are a blogger and you are doing this even unknowingly you should think of the author, the videographer, the mother...its not okay.

Ashley's story is beautiful and I urge you to go and take a look HERE!!!